Surprisingly well made

Surprisingly well made

I was looking for a new beard trimmer yesterday and settled on the Wahl 79300-400 Color Pro – only because of this review:

I expected this trimmer to be a low quality option for quick haircuts. I’ve purchased various hair trimmers previously from different manufacturers, and they are always light plastic cheap devices that break within a few months, even under moderate use. Puny. Puny! It’s like they weren’t designed to handle a man’s glorious mane.

But this trimmer, THIS trimmer, however, is sturdy and solid, with a heavy metal casing that really gives it some weight. I feel like I could crack open walnuts with it, or defend the realm from invading armies. When you look at the packaging, you have an expectation of a glorified beard trimmer in a festive mood. That is to say, it’s bright and colorful and curvy, which suggests it’s going to be underpowered or fragile. But no – this thing has gravitas, and you know it from the moment you pick it up, and then proceed to hammer in nails through hardened steel.

I turned it on and was pleased with the roaring, powerful warcry it emitted. Yes, it is a little on the loud side, but lots of awesome things are. Like television, and LIONS. Lions are awesome. What do you people have against lions? Nothing, that’s what.

I then ran it through the brutal obstacle course of my head, throwing endless armies of brambled follicles, the kind with mean streaks and meaner grins, who drink straight from the milk jug and don’t wash their hands enough, and have tattoos with the names of all their enemies and ex-lovers. Hair with tattoos, you heard it here first. The trimmer took one look and mowed them down with relaxed fury, literally cutting them down to size (eight available with this set, create your own style today!) in crisp, uniform lengths. I was so impressed that I went out and trimmed the lawn and some tree branches (which work best with the 3/4″ attachment). Note: Product not authorized for landscaping work, I playfully made that up. Doublenote: OR WAS I? Because you certainly wouldn’t know once you fire this baby up and watch it bring on the POWER.

I would caution using this without an attachment/guard on it, as you are liable to cut yourself if you press it directly. So do use some caution. If you’re a wimp, that is. Not me though, but I feel the need to warn all the other wimps out there. You wimps, you.

You can also pair this up with different attachments from Wahl, including Wahl #12 clipper guide comb, 1&1/2. for longer style cuts. They snap right on without issue, useful for those wanting heftier styles. This does lend some useful versatility to the product, which I appreciate. You will appreciate it too.

The case gets the job done, but it does lack any kind of internal organization – there’s nothing to slot the attachments into, for example. Things will jumble around and get disorganized, but this is a minor complaint. There is enough room for another few attachments in addition to the included stock, as it is roomy enough to accommodate a few added accessories.

The cord could probably bit a tiny bit longer. Most things are better longer. Except for hair, which is why you are buying this thing in the first place.

In short: highly recommended. Manly recommended. Grab you one and unleash the wonderful mightiness. Hold it high above your newly clean-cut head and watch lighting bolts dance behind you as you part the heavens in your magnificence.

Robert Snodgrass “Awesome-o”

Months after getting syndication working, I’ve finally ported the edbury i/o theme over to Tumblr. There are a few issues with controlling semantic elements because of how the Tumblr API receives data. Still, it’s definitively better than the stand-in theme I had been using since November.

Definitely a project I needed to start at 4am.

go giants

The regularity with which my most excellent roommate blogs about his life here has guilted me into at least one post of playing catchup. Here we go.

Battles, Lemmy, and I packed our stuff up, hopped a plane, and ended up in San Francisco. By the grace of favor, David was ready to get out of New York for awhile and move in with me as he gets his bearings in this strange new land. I’m hoping he lands an unbelievably rockin’ job and stays out here.

He’s a good addition to California.

For my part, the transition has been pretty simple. I just ride down Stockton Street to work now instead of taking the Q with KM. Giulia and Alex have made me feel more at home here than I have a right to, and soon we’ll be rolling dice once a week too. I’ve run into Kellie a few times, and I keep discovering that I know more people out here than I realize.

Still, I haven’t settled in yet. My routine feels on hold and out of place. Maybe it’s the lack of an Aggrodome to show up at unannounced or being surrounded by packed boxes while I sleep. I left a lot of life behind in Brooklyn, and I underestimated how that gap would feel for awhile.

At least I have this unreasonable beard:

Untitled

Tomorrow’s payday, and I’ve a mind to furnish at least one corner of the apartment. And buy a hamper. Ikea makes a house a home.